I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
