Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
