Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
