Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
