I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i just had sex bonerless
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
