laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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