what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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