there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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