nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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