I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
