i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
