If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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