but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
