Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
