I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
