okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
