I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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