And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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