pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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