I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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