i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
