was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
