i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
