Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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