I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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