wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
