I feel like I'm in dance class right now
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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