don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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