sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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