So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
