i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
