none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
