@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
