Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
