He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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