hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
