Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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