That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
