Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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