the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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