So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
