Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
