Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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