I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
