I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
