I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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