Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
