Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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