Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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