i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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