Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
